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A Very Unhelpful Guide to Guatemala

Guatemala does not ease you in.
It hands you beauty with one hand and a raised eyebrow with the other.

And while everyone sensibly took local buses, colectivos, and chicken buses I chose…. driving.

This tells you everything you need to know about how the rest of this went.

DO:
  • Wake up to volcanoes like they’re just part of the furniture.
  • Watch the lake change moods faster than your thoughts.
  • Sit longer than planned. Always.
DON’T:
  • Ask which volcano is which. You’ll forget.
  • Rush off after one sunset.
  • Assume the calm will follow you.
Things no one warned me about:
  • Lake Atitlán feels like a pause button.
  • Your nervous system may exhale without permission.
  • You’ll think, I could stay here. You won’t. But you’ll think it.
DON’T MISS:
  • Mayan Cacao Ceremony
DO:
  • Walk the cobblestones slowly like they aren’t trying to kill your ankles.
  • Look up —constantly.
  • Accept that ruins can feel alive.
DON’T:
  • Pretend you’re not impressed.
  • Try to out-plan the city.
  • Wear new shoes.
Things no one warned me about:
  • Antigua is elegance with an edge.
  • Every street feels curated and crumbling at the same time.
  • It knows you’re visiting. It lets you anyway.
DON’T MISS:
  • Walking around at sunrise – the quiet streets glows with awe
DO:
  • Pass through with intention.
  • Pay attention without lingering.
  • Respect the city’s pace.
DON’T :
  • Treat it like a sightseeing checklist.
  • Wander aimlessly just to prove bravery.
  • Assume chaos equals danger.
Things no one warned me about:
  • Guatemala City is misunderstood.
  • It’s functional, not theatrical.
  • It exists to get you somewhere else.
DON’T MISS:
DO:
  • Earn it.
  • Sweat.
  • Question your choices halfway there.
DON’T:
  • Underestimate the road.
  • Ask “Are we there yet?”
  • Expect cell service or forgiveness.
Things no one warned me about:
  • The drive feels like a test.
  • The reward feels like a secret.
  • You’ll forgive everything once you see the pools.
DON’T MISS:
  • Semuc Champey – a must destination
DO:
  • Let the island charm work on you.
  • Wander without purpose.
  • Stay one more night than planned.
DON’T:
  • Rush dinner.
  • Skip the water views.
  • Forget why you came.
Things no one warned me about:
  • Flores feels like a breath before something bigger.
  • It’s soft on purpose.
  • It knows what’s coming.
DON’T MISS:
  • Taking a lake cruise.
DO:
  • Arrive early.
  • Walk quietly.
  • Let the jungle speak first.
DON’T:
  • Treat it like a photo op.
  • Rush the climb.
  • Forget where you are.
Things no one warned me about:
  • Tikal is not ruins it’s presence.
  • The past feels awake here.
  • You are very small. And that’s the point.
DON’T MISS:
  • Tikal – history unveiled
DO:
  • Grip the wheel.
  • Laugh when plans dissolve.
  • Trust your instincts more than your map.
DON’T:
  • Assume signs are suggestions. (They are.)
  • Expect roads to match expectations.
  • Panic when Google Maps gives up.
Things no one warned me about:
  • Driving gave me freedom and responsibility.
  • It also removed excuses.
  • Every wrong turn felt personal.
DON’T MISS:
  • Driving – beats the local buses/planes any day

☑ Drove roads that required faith
☑ Questioned my decisions mid-mountain
☑ Arrived exhausted and grateful
☑ Realized effort changes how wonder lands
☑ Chose control —and learned when to release it
☑ Pretend to be in a Star Wars movie

“You keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because you’re curious and curiosity keeps leading you down new paths”.
— Walt Disney (via Meet the Robinsons)

Guatemala didn’t punish me for driving.
It made sure I felt every mile.

And somewhere between white-knuckle roads and ancient temples,
I learned that effort doesn’t ruin wonder.

It sharpens it.

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