(According to Someone Who Bowed Wrong and Lived Anyway)
South Korea moves fast.
Your thoughts do not.
So you adapt.
Poorly.
With enthusiasm.
📍 Jeju Island
DO:
- Rent a car or surrender your schedule.
- Eat the black pork like it’s mandatory.
- Check the weather, then emotionally detach from it.
DON’T:
- Expect buses to care about your plans.
- Assume beaches equal swimming.
- Underestimate volcanic rocks they bite.
Things no one warned me about:
- The wind has opinions and will share them loudly.
- Island pace means eventually.
- The map lies with confidence.
DON’T MISS:
- Walking with a cruise member
📍 Seoul
DO:
- Walk until your step counter files a complaint.
- Use the subway like it’s a video game.
- Accept that every street is five moods at once.
DON’T:
- Assume north is meaningful.
- Expect silence.
- Think you’ll just pop in somewhere.
Things no one warned me about:
- Seoul is layers.
- Old gates inside glass towers.
- Tradition politely coexisting with LEDs.
DON’T MISS:
- Getting a city view from Seonyudo Park
📍 DMZ
DO:
- Listen carefully.
- Read everything.
- Let it sit heavy.
DON’T :
- Treat it like a photo op.
- Make jokes.
- Forget real people live with this line every day.
Things no one warned me about:
- The quiet is intentional.
- The sadness is shared.
- Borders are drawn grief is not.
DON’T MISS:
- Hearing the stories about Gloster Hill.
📍 Gangnam
DO:
- Walk confidently even when lost.
- Pretend you belong.
- Accept that style is currency.
DON’T:
- Ask how much things cost.
- Assume the song helped you understand this place.
- Blink too slowly.
Things no one warned me about:
- Gangnam isn’t flashy… it’s polished.
- Everyone looks like they’re heading somewhere important.
- I was not.
DON’T MISS:
- Dancing Gangnam style at one of the many locations celebrating the song.
📍Namdaemun Market (Seoul)
DO:
- Walk slowly.
- Imagine footsteps before yours.
- Look up.
DON’T:
- Rush through centuries.
- Talk loudly.
- Forget where you are.
Things no one warned me about:
- The scale humbles you.
- History doesn’t ask for attention it commands it.
- Silence here feels earned.
DON’T MISS:
- Eating street food.
📍Bukchon Hanok Village (Seoul)
DO:
- Lower your voice.
- Respect the lived-in history.
- Get lost gently.
DON’T:
- Treat homes like exhibits.
- Chase perfect photos.
- Forget people still live here.
Things no one warned me about:
- Beauty can be quiet.
- Slopes count as exercise.
- Reverence has an address.
DON’T MISS:
- This place by walking by and assuming it is just another street
📝 Absurd South Korea Checklist
☑ Bowed too much or not enough
☑ Stood on the wrong side of the escalator
☑ Ate something without knowing what it was
☑ Felt awe immediately followed by confusion
☑ Thought: This country is doing everything better than me
☑ Lost your sunglasses when walking through beaded curtains
☑ Lost most of your photos of South Korea because your phone SD card gets corrupted
☑ Wandered library and not know how to get book from the shelf 20 feet above
“The past is never where you think you left it.”
—Oldboy (2003)
South Korea didn’t explain itself.
It demonstrated.
Through palaces and pop culture, through borders and night markets,
it showed me how history and momentum can exist in the same breath.
I arrived observing.
I left reflecting.
Still confused.
Just better dressed about it.
