The Very Unhelpful Series

In case anyone wants unhelpful advise for the places I visited.

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    A Very Unhelpful Guide to Nicaragua

    Nicaragua doesn’t rush you.
    It watches.

    It lets you arrive.
    Then quietly removes your expectations
    while you’re busy sweating.

    DO:
    • Let the ocean knock thoughts loose.
    • Sit. Do nothing. Actually nothing.
    • Accept the breeze as therapy.
    DON’T:
    • Over-schedule.
    • Ask what comes next.
    • Assume beaches need excitement.
    Things no one warned me about:
    • Pochomil feels like a long exhale.
    • Time stretches here.
    • Your nervous system notices first.
    DON’T MISS:
    • The surfing boat rides.
    DO:
    • Let the city introduce itself slowly.
    • Observe rather than judge.
    • Trust your instincts.
    DON’T:
    • Expect postcards.
    • Assume chaos means danger.
    • Rush through.
    Things no one warned me about:
    • Managua feels unfinished.
    • Not broken just becoming.
    • It asks for patience.
    DON’T MISS:
    • Visiting any Chinese malls – selection is great.
    • Getting lost in any market streets.
    DO:
    • Notice the bustle.
    • Greet people back.
    • Walk with intention.
    DON’T :
    • Expect spectacle.
    • Force conversation.
    • Pretend you’re not a guest.
    Things no one warned me about:
    • Small towns see you.
    • Even when they don’t say much.
    • Especially then.
    DON’T MISS:
    • Drinking home made oat milks in clear bags.
    DO:
    • Wander without purpose.
    • Sit where locals sit.
    • Let the town reveal itself.
    DON’T:
    • Look for attractions.
    • Measure worth by guidebooks.
    • Rush your steps.
    Things no one warned me about:
    • Diriamba feels grounded.
    • Like it knows who it is.
    • And doesn’t need to explain.
    DON’T MISS:
    • Seeing the giant chickens.
    DO:
    • Walk the colorful streets slowly.
    • Sit by the lake.
    • Let beauty be simple.
    DON’T:
    • Over-romanticize.
    • Skip the quiet corners.
    • Forget to look up.
    Things no one warned me about:
    • Granada is gentle.
    • It doesn’t demand attention.
    • It earns it.
    DON’T MISS:
    • Having a fresh coconut.

    ☑ Sweated through every plan
    ☑ Learned patience without trying
    ☑ Mistook stillness for boredom (briefly)
    ☑ Realized calm can be loud
    ☑ Said this is fine unironically
    ☑ Checked shoes before putting on for scorpions/black spiders
    ☑ Ate ripe fruits directly from the trees
    ☑ Washed my clothes in a river
    ☑ Checked for crocodiles before swimming in the river
    ☑ Shoved my way into a chicken bus

    “You take life as it comes.”
    Forrest Gump (1994)

    Nicaragua didn’t dazzle me.
    It settled me.

    And somewhere between ocean air, quiet streets,
    and cities that don’t perform,

    I learned that not every place needs to impress you
    some places just need you to arrive honestly.

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