A Very Unhelpful Guide to Guatemala
(According to Someone Who Drove When Everyone Said Don’t )
Guatemala does not ease you in.
It hands you beauty with one hand and a raised eyebrow with the other.
And while everyone sensibly took local buses, colectivos, and chicken buses I chose…. driving.
This tells you everything you need to know about how the rest of this went.
📍 Panajachel (Lake Atitlán)
DO:
- Wake up to volcanoes like they’re just part of the furniture.
- Watch the lake change moods faster than your thoughts.
- Sit longer than planned. Always.
DON’T:
- Ask which volcano is which. You’ll forget.
- Rush off after one sunset.
- Assume the calm will follow you.
Things no one warned me about:
- Lake Atitlán feels like a pause button.
- Your nervous system may exhale without permission.
- You’ll think, I could stay here. You won’t. But you’ll think it.
DON’T MISS:
- Mayan Cacao Ceremony
📍 Antigua
DO:
- Walk the cobblestones slowly like they aren’t trying to kill your ankles.
- Look up —constantly.
- Accept that ruins can feel alive.
DON’T:
- Pretend you’re not impressed.
- Try to out-plan the city.
- Wear new shoes.
Things no one warned me about:
- Antigua is elegance with an edge.
- Every street feels curated and crumbling at the same time.
- It knows you’re visiting. It lets you anyway.
DON’T MISS:
- Walking around at sunrise – the quiet streets glows with awe
📍 Guatemala City
DO:
- Pass through with intention.
- Pay attention without lingering.
- Respect the city’s pace.
DON’T :
- Treat it like a sightseeing checklist.
- Wander aimlessly just to prove bravery.
- Assume chaos equals danger.
Things no one warned me about:
- Guatemala City is misunderstood.
- It’s functional, not theatrical.
- It exists to get you somewhere else.
DON’T MISS:
📍 Semuc Champey
DO:
- Earn it.
- Sweat.
- Question your choices halfway there.
DON’T:
- Underestimate the road.
- Ask “Are we there yet?”
- Expect cell service or forgiveness.
Things no one warned me about:
- The drive feels like a test.
- The reward feels like a secret.
- You’ll forgive everything once you see the pools.
DON’T MISS:
- Semuc Champey – a must destination
📍Flores
DO:
- Let the island charm work on you.
- Wander without purpose.
- Stay one more night than planned.
DON’T:
- Rush dinner.
- Skip the water views.
- Forget why you came.
Things no one warned me about:
- Flores feels like a breath before something bigger.
- It’s soft on purpose.
- It knows what’s coming.
DON’T MISS:
- Taking a lake cruise.
📍Tikal
DO:
- Arrive early.
- Walk quietly.
- Let the jungle speak first.
DON’T:
- Treat it like a photo op.
- Rush the climb.
- Forget where you are.
Things no one warned me about:
- Tikal is not ruins it’s presence.
- The past feels awake here.
- You are very small. And that’s the point.
DON’T MISS:
- Tikal – history unveiled
🚗 Driving Guatemala (Instead of Taking Local Buses)
DO:
- Grip the wheel.
- Laugh when plans dissolve.
- Trust your instincts more than your map.
DON’T:
- Assume signs are suggestions. (They are.)
- Expect roads to match expectations.
- Panic when Google Maps gives up.
Things no one warned me about:
- Driving gave me freedom and responsibility.
- It also removed excuses.
- Every wrong turn felt personal.
DON’T MISS:
- Driving – beats the local buses/planes any day
📝 Absurd Guatemala Checklist
☑ Drove roads that required faith
☑ Questioned my decisions mid-mountain
☑ Arrived exhausted and grateful
☑ Realized effort changes how wonder lands
☑ Chose control —and learned when to release it
☑ Pretend to be in a Star Wars movie
“You keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because you’re curious and curiosity keeps leading you down new paths”.
— Walt Disney (via Meet the Robinsons)
Guatemala didn’t punish me for driving.
It made sure I felt every mile.
And somewhere between white-knuckle roads and ancient temples,
I learned that effort doesn’t ruin wonder.
It sharpens it.
