The Thing You Should Have Done All Along

Another Shrinking wisdom nugget caught me:

“Needing something bad to happen to make you do the thing you should have done all along. “
— Alice

In the episode, everyone is spiraling a little —questioning life choices, friendships, direction— during Derek’s emergency heart surgery. A scare has a way of clearing the fog. When something fragile is exposed, everything else suddenly feels negotiable.

It made me uncomfortable.

Because I’ve been asking myself something similar.

Did I need to burn out to find myself again?
Did I need exhaustion so deep it scared me?
Did I need to feel trapped before I chose freedom?
Did I need collapse before I chose change?

It’s easy to romanticize the pivot. The bold move. The two-year journey. The yeses. The reinvention.

But the truth is, I didn’t leap from comfort.
I moved from depletion.

There was a version of me that knew something was off long before I left Canada. I ignored it. Managed it. Powered through it. Told myself it was temporary. Told myself everyone feels this way.

Until I couldn’t.

Sometimes we wait for crisis because crisis gives us permission.

Permission to quit.
Permission to rest.
Permission to disappoint others.
Permission to choose ourselves.

Without the bad thing, we might keep performing the old script.

So did I need burnout?

I don’t know.

I wish I had listened sooner. I wish I had trusted the quiet voice instead of waiting for the loud one.

But maybe that’s part of it.
Maybe the bad thing isn’t punishment.
Maybe it’s interruption. A forced pause. A redirect. A sharp inhale that says, “Pay attention. “

Derek’s heart surgery made everyone reevaluate.

My burnout did the same. Not because disaster is required for growth —but because sometimes it’s the only thing strong enough to break inertia.

I don’t glorify the collapse.

But I’m grateful for the clarity that followed.

And maybe the real lesson isn’t that we need something bad to happen.
Maybe it’s that next time, we don’t wait for it.

“You just gotta hope that when you do, it’s not too late”
— Jimmy