Growing up, I always saw my dad as the hero.
He was the one who left China at 11 years old. The one who worked endlessly. The one who built things with his hands and quietly carried the weight of providing for our family. In my father’s eulogy, I spoke about his sacrifices, his strength, and the life he built for us.
But after reflecting more deeply this Mother’s Day, I realized something important.
Behind every risk my dad took… was my mom.
She was the driving force behind the decisions. The ideas. The courage to keep moving forward when life demanded more from them. While my dad carried the bricks, my mom often carried the vision.
And in many ways, she changed my life.
At 17, my parents got married and began building a future together from almost nothing. They worked constantly in their businesses — long days, exhausting hours, always sacrificing comfort for opportunity. But my mom was never simply “along for the journey.” She was steering it beside him.
Leaving Trinidad. Moving to Texas. Eventually settling in Toronto. Those weren’t small decisions. They were terrifying leaps into uncertainty. And my mom kept believing a better life was possible for her children.
That belief changed everything.
As kids, we rarely understand the emotional cost parents carry. We see food on the table, rides to school, packed lunches, clean clothes. We don’t see the sleepless nights, the fear, the calculations, the pressure of trying to create a future in a country that still feels unfamiliar.
Mothers have a way of absorbing stress quietly so their children can feel safe.
And my mom did that endlessly.
She gave every ounce of energy she had to making sure her children had opportunities she never did. She worked while exhausted. She worried constantly. She carried responsibilities that nobody noticed because she handled them before they became visible problems.
Even now, I think about how many times she must have felt overwhelmed but kept going anyway.
That’s a kind of love children only fully understand when they grow older.
As a kid, you think your parents are just “being parents.”
As an adult, you realize they were surviving while trying to protect you from ever feeling the weight they carried.
Looking back now, I can see how much of my life was shaped not just by sacrifice — but by my mother’s determination that her children would have a chance at something better.
And honestly, I don’t know where I would be without her strength.
She may not see herself this way. Most mothers don’t. They often downplay what they’ve done because love became so natural to them that sacrifice simply felt like part of the job.
But today, I want to say it clearly.
Mom, you were never in the background of our story.
You were the force moving it forward.
You gave your energy, your youth, your comfort, and your heart so your children could dream bigger than the circumstances you were born into.
You didn’t just help build our lives.
You rescued them from becoming smaller.
And if Dad taught me quiet strength, you taught me resilience, courage, and unconditional love.
This Mother’s Day, I see you more clearly than ever.
Not just as my mom.
But as the woman who helped shape my life.
